It’s so weird to think of all the directions my life could go. The people who might become bigger parts of my life, the ones that I may recall in twenty years, wondering what happened to them. Then maybe in twenty more years they’ll magically reappear. What will my little town in the middle of nowhere become? Will I ever come back? Of all the places I’ve been and will go, which will be my “permanent” home, if I ever have one? I’ll probably learn a lot about myself, try things I never thought I would. My mindset will probably go through countless phases. And my career. I may settle for a stable job under pressure or pursue something that my parents will be skeptical of. I may meet the love of my life tomorrow, I may already know the love of my life. I may not have one. Maybe one day I’ll have my own family or maybe just a dog.
Of course I have goals and dreams. I push my life in the direction I want it to go in, and I work hard to create the life I desire. But I’m not queen of the world. The only thing that isn’t a “maybe” (according to my understanding of the universe, which is limited) is that I am the only constant, known factor in my life. Meaning, regardless of what happens in my life, I’ll be there. And I don’t mean this despondently.
I feel a sense of relief knowing that anything can happen tomorrow or in one, two, five, ten years. Something I may have prepared for and almost manifested or something completely unexpected. It gives me the permission to let go of some control and the power to focus on what I can control. The catch is that these surprises can be both victories and hardships. The good news is nothing is final. Until death maybe, but that’s still under investigation. But through whatever happens to you, things you can’t predict or even imagine, you can always do better, and you can always do worse. Choose wisely.