Accountability has two sides. When you do something amazing- take ownership and be confident. When something goes wrong- don’t practice self-deprecation, but don’t evade responsibility. When you’re constantly eluding liability, it’s a classic ego move. You think you’re too smart, too good, too pretty, too something to be at fault.
Being accountable for the role you play in difficult or bad situations is a superpower. Not only is it a practice of humility, it also reclaims control. If you played a part, made a mistake, did something wrong, you can make a change. If someone else is always to blame, you give someone else the power every time. And you probably know this, but you can’t change other people.
Not taking responsibility for yourself and your actions is a coping mechanism. It’s easy to take responsibility and then beat yourself up for something. And when you’re already dealing with the consequences of your mistakes, it can be too much pressure. It’s less easy to take responsibility and forgive yourself. But forgiveness is the path to love. There is no forgiveness without apologies, and there are no genuine apologies without accountability.